


Transformative

by Morgana



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Painplay, Religious Imagery & Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 13:16:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike tries to help Buffy adjust to a new life</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transformative

She likes pain. Oh, she'd always been fond of it, always wanted things a little rough - that was part of the glory of fucking a Slayer, after all, that they could take the damage that would kill a human - but not like this. Never like this. Now it's become the only way to truly excite her, and she can't get off without it. Now she needs it, craves it like every other demon does. Now she's just like them, and he wonders why he ever wanted her to come into the darkness with him when he should have been trying to step into the light with her.   
  
Spike tightens his hold on the silver chain and drags the cross over the tops of her breasts, then trails it down to her navel. He watches smoke rise from her skin, curling white wisps that bring the stench of burning flesh with them, and curses his sire yet again. If only Angel had warned them before he unleashed Angelus... but Spike, like the other Scoobies, has learned how useless that kind of thinking is. 'If only' speaks of hope, and that betrayed them all three months ago, when Buffy went off to LA to answer a phone call from what she'd believed was a friend in need of help. She'd learned the kind of help he offered, learned what it meant to undergo Angelus' kind of affection, but it was those who loved her that suffered the most as a result of her transformation. A turned Slayer might keep a little more of her humanity than most vampires, but only a very little bit, like having a candle to keep the darkness away where before there had been a bonfire.  
  
He lets the chain drop a little, laying the silver a little heavier on her skin as he moves down to one hip, then back up and to the other, red stripes rising in his wake. She shifts restlessly on the bed, tossing her head and mewling, hips arching up in invitation, and he tells himself that he can at least be grateful she came back to him, that it's his bed she's in and not his sire's. So what if he misses the heat and soft whisper of her breathing in the night? So what if she watches the Scoobies with a predator's eyes, or misses the sadness in her sister's eyes? She's his forever now, and that's cause enough for celebration - isn't it?   
  
One long line on the outside of one thigh, then up the inside, repeating the pattern on the other leg as they fall open, and Spike does his best not to remember the eager sweep of warm hands and thundering roar of her heart. He concentrates instead of drawing patterns on her, using her beloved Angel's pendant to bring her the pain she needs until he can't stand it any longer. There's only so much he can take, even though he knows she'd gladly beg for more. His Slayer wasn't made for this kind of twisted pleasure, not the sweet girl he fell in love with, at any rate, and he hopes Angelus burns forever for what he's done to her.   
  
She vamps out when he swings it up and lays it against first one nipple and then the other, and he drops it on the nightstand, then stretches on top of her. Her fangs slice into his tongue when he kisses her, and he runs his hands over her body, rubbing along the lines of her burns as though he could somehow take them away, take the torture he knows she endured at the hands of his sire away, and remake her in the image of the beautiful woman she was becoming before all this happened. But deep down, he knows how futile those kinds of dreams are. Buffy's like Dru, now - another one of Angelus' broken and discarded dolls, her bright, shining soul stolen by the darkness of his mad, sadistic whims, and no amount of tender loving care from Spike will ever be able to make up for the loss.


End file.
